


Atonement

by princessamerigo



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Endgame Garcia Flynn/Lucy Preston, Fix-It, Garcia Flynn cannot be dead, Real Timeless, Regret, Second Chance, Tears, Vodka, faking, forgetthefinale, garcy, kitchen thoughts, mild but justified cursing, my season 3 I guess, never forget Jiya, others will return later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 09:30:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17241773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessamerigo/pseuds/princessamerigo
Summary: A week passed since Lucy and the Team learned about Flynn's death in 2014 and Lucy already has terrible regrets. Can terrible decisions be undone?





	Atonement

**Author's Note:**

> I only care for that terrible finale as much that I try to make that illogical nonsense logical, and show how the OOC should be in character.
> 
> I dedicate this to the wonderful Garcy family!
> 
> @ Gotta_Love_Garcy you are a wonderful beta, thank you!

Jiya stumbled into the kitchen of the bunker. In the dark, she cursed loudly, due to clumsily colliding with the door frame. She was still half asleep but she needed a glass of cold water to calm her trembling nerves. She had a nightmare again, like at every single night. Those events in Chinatown which she wished she could forget haunted her in her dreams, glimpses, sounds, smells… They were always there… Since Rufus didn’t remember the whole Chinatown timeline Jiya decided it would be better not to bother him with her struggles. So when she woke up again panting, bathing in cold sweat she just slipped out of their bed to have a drink.

Her hand lingered over the tap while she was pondering how long she could go on like this. But then she shrugged and opened the tap. If she started to think about this now she would have no chance of getting back to sleep.  

When her glass was full, she carefully took some sips of the water.

That was the moment when a strange and unexpected noise hit her ears It was a soft noise, one of sobbing. She wondered who would be crying in secret, trying not to wake everyone.

Jiya whirled around and gaped as she noticed that Lucy was sitting by the kitchen table alone in the darkness.

She was crying silently, unstoppable tears were rolling down on her tortured face.

“Lucy, what’s the matter? Did something happen? Where is Wyatt?“, Jiya asked confused and worried while stepping toward the table.

“I don’t know where Wyatt is, probably sleeping, but I couldn’t care less, to be honest. “ Lucy whispered while she refilled her glass from the bottle. If Jiya had to guess, she would say it was vodka.

 _Wow._ Jiya looked confused for a moment then walked back to the cupboard and took a glass for herself, she then filled it with vodka and sat down to the table.

For a while they both were silent, but then Jiya simply had to ask, although deep down she knew what this was about. A week had gone since they heard about Flynn’s death, and Jiya expected something like this to happen but it still hit hard witnessing it first-hand.

“Do you want to talk about it? I understand if you don’t just…” Jiya began.

“I’m a monster…” Lucy interrupted her in a hollow voice. “We all are but I’m the worst… But now I got my punishment for it. “

Jiya wasn’t offended by her words, not at all. They all had reacted to Flynn’s death relatively calmly or you can even say coldly, but she guessed all of them had their reasons to do so. She herself had so much on her plate with the Chinatown aftershock and that she got Rufus back but he wasn’t THE Rufus she knew and loved so much.

“You aren’t… you just…. “ Jiya started but Lucy interrupted her again.

“I was just angry… so angry.  So fucking angry.” Her words were livid, full of passion, a bit slurry from the vodka and crying. She bit her lips and continued. “I was so angry at Flynn... That he left me…. That he of all people made a decision for me. He always trusted me to make my own decisions. Then…“ Lucy struggled for air. “Then he dared to decide my future for me and left to play a fucking hero. And he died. He had no right to do that when I… when he… when we… “

“But I thought you love Wyatt… “, pointed out Jiya quietly as she gently squeezed Lucy’s trembling hand.

Lucy laughed bitterly then drained her glass. “I thought that too. I wanted it so much…  But Wyatt chose Jessica. And then…“ she poured another glass despite Jiya trying to take away the bottle. “Then Flynn went and killed Jessica, and left that stupid letter. And it hurt, it hurt so much that I silently screamed inside. It just didn’t make sense. Then something broke in me. I was like ’Fuck you, Flynn, if that’s what you want…. “

She sobbed for a while pressing her hand on her mouth stifle her cries.

Jiya didn’t know what to do besides just for being there for her. Lucy needed to get things out of her system before it poisoned her. She fished out a tissue from the pajama pocket and handed over to Lucy who blew her nose and wiped her red eyes.

Then Lucy took ragged breaths and continued.

“And I tried, I really tried. I jumped into it. I got together with Wyatt because he said he loved me and because I wanted it for so long. I thought we will have a quiet, normal life. And it has been nice. The sex has been nice….”

Jiya raised an eyebrow but Lucy ignored her reaction and continued.

“… he really loves me and dotes on me, but that is it. We have been together for a week and I already don’t know what to talk about with him.

 It’s not enough… It never will be. I don’t love Wyatt the way I love Garcia Flynn. I love him Jiya, I know I shouldn’t… But I love his humour, his way of thinking, his determination, the way he looks at me, the way he touches me… And I know I should say all these things in the past tense but I can’t… I love him and let him die…. “

She licked her lips and stared at the vodka bottle for a long time.

“I fake love, I fake smiles but I’m empty inside. And even vodka doesn’t help as it reminds me of him.“

For the first time, she looked up at Jiya who was completely lost for words. There was no judgement on her face but understanding and sadness.

“But I’m okay with this” Lucy continued. “I will continue this fake life with someone whom I like but nothing more, as I deserve nothing more.” Lucy said in a hollow voice. “’Be careful what you wish for, I guess…“ She raked her messy hair with her trembling hand. “This will be my punishment for not stopping Flynn, for being a coward and not telling him what I feel…”

“This will kill you from inside, Lucy…” Jiya tried to warn her.

“Flynn is dead, Jiya. Not just on the inside like me. He is dead- dead. Because of me, because of Wyatt, because of all of us. And he died alone… Without anyone, without a name. Without his family’s knowledge. We took EVERYTHING from him, Jiya. He did terrible things in the past, but we were at war. Then he changed he did everything for the team. He gave up his revenge for me…“ Lucy stared into the distance as if she would be in that alley again where Flynn cared for her instead of chasing Emma. She could almost hear his voice and feel his strong arms around her and the touch of his forehead on hers. “He loved me and I betrayed him… I’m indeed a monster.”

Then suddenly Lucy grabbed Jiya’s fragile hand with such force that the younger woman hissed.

“Help me, Jiya. Let’s get back to him and let’s give him at least his identity back. Please?“

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and thoughts are always welcomed.


End file.
